Alone at the Heights

The sky above the ridge slowly darkened as my final step came to a halt at the summit marker. Strangely, at this highest point, my chest felt the heaviest. The wind cut sharper than usual, as if it were peeling away the memories I had kept buried for so long.

There were no cheers of victory. No laughter. Only me… and the past that arrived uninvited.

“Pa’e… we made it.”

That voice still lingered. Even though I knew no one was standing beside me now.

My hands trembled—not from the cold, but from a longing that suddenly overflowed without warning. One by one, those faces appeared again—filled with laughter, jokes, and a spirit that once felt like it would never fade with time.

Herman with his loud voice.

Upok, always complaining yet never giving up.

Sigit, quietly the strongest of us all.

And all of them… who once made this journey feel like home.

A quiet sob escaped me. I couldn’t hold it back.

I sat down, hugging my knees, letting the wind carry my tears wherever it wished. Far below, the city lights flickered like memories—beautiful, yet too distant to ever be touched again.

Back then, at this very summit, we embraced each other. Laughed for no reason. Celebrated something simple: that we had made it.

Now, I stood alone. Carrying stories that could no longer be shared with them.

Time never asks for permission to change everything.

I took a deep breath. Looked up at the dark sky, then whispered softly—almost inaudible—

“We still made it… even if we’re no longer together.”

The wind blew harder, as if answering.

And for the first time since my steps began earlier, I smiled… with tears still in my eyes.

“Sendiri di Ketinggian”

Langit di atas punggungan mulai menghitam ketika langkah terakhirku terhenti di batu penanda puncak. Entah kenapa, di titik setinggi ini, justru dadaku terasa paling sesak. Angin menusuk lebih tajam dari biasanya, seolah ikut menguliti kenangan yang selama ini kusembunyikan rapat-rapat.

Tak ada sorak kemenangan. Tak ada tawa. Hanya aku… dan masa lalu yang datang tanpa permisi.

“Pa’e… kita sampai juga.”

Suara itu seperti masih ada. Padahal aku tahu, tak seorang pun berdiri di sampingku kini.

Tanganku gemetar, bukan karena dingin, tapi karena rindu yang tiba-tiba menumpuk tanpa aba-aba. Satu per satu wajah itu muncul—dengan tawa, canda, dan semangat yang dulu terasa tak akan pernah habis dimakan waktu.

Herman dengan suara lantangnya.
Upok yang selalu mengeluh tapi tak pernah menyerah.
Sigit yang diam-diam paling kuat.
Dan mereka semua… yang pernah membuat perjalanan ini terasa seperti rumah.

Isak kecil lolos begitu saja. Tak bisa kutahan.

Aku terduduk, memeluk lutut, membiarkan angin membawa suara tangisku entah ke mana. Di bawah sana, lampu-lampu kota berkelip seperti kenangan—indah, tapi terlalu jauh untuk disentuh kembali.

Dulu, di puncak yang sama, kami berpelukan. Tertawa tanpa alasan. Merayakan sesuatu yang sederhana: berhasil sampai.

Sekarang, aku berdiri sendiri. Membawa cerita yang tak lagi bisa dibagi kepada mereka.

Waktu memang tidak pernah meminta izin untuk mengubah segalanya.

Aku menarik napas panjang. Menatap langit yang gelap, lalu berbisik pelan, hampir tak terdengar—

“Kita masih sampai… meski tak lagi bersama.”

Angin berhembus lebih kencang, seolah menjawab.

Dan untuk pertama kalinya sejak langkah awal tadi, aku tersenyum… dengan mata yang masih basah.